Is Love an Art?: Erich Fromm and the Act of Loving
In the exploration of human relationships and emotions, Erich Fromm's perspective on love stands out as particularly insightful and profound. In his book, "The Art of Loving," Fromm addresses fundamental questions about love, defining it as an art that requires knowledge and effort.
Definition of Love
Fromm emphasizes that real love is characterized by an active concern for the growth and
well-being of the beloved. He distinguishes this from dependency, where attachment is driven
by a lack of self-sufficiency. As he puts it, "If I am attached to another person because I
cannot stand on my own feet, he or she may be a lifesaver, but the relationship has nothing to
do with love”.
Theories of Love
Love and affection have similar definitions, with love often seen as an intense emotional
attachment to someone or something. Many researchers and psychologists have attempted to
understand love, creating various theories throughout history. Fromm builds upon these
theories, proposing that love is an answer to the problem of human existence, defining it as
"the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love".
Types of Love According to Fromm
Fromm identifies several types of love, each with unique characteristics:
1.Brotherly Love: Brotherly love is universal and not confined to one person. It is
rooted in the belief that all humans are equal and involves a sense of solidarity and
unity with all of humanity. This type of love is the foundation for all other forms of
love and is exemplified by the biblical injunction to "love thy neighbour as thyself".
2. Motherly Love: This form of love is unconditional and selfless, primarily
characterized by the giving and nurturing of a child. It is not reciprocal, as the mother
gives without expecting anything in return, creating a profound and enduring bond.
3. Erotic Love: Unlike the previous types, erotic love is exclusive and involves a desire
for complete fusion with another person. However, Fromm warns that this type of
love can be the most deceptive, often conflating intense passion with genuine
affection. It is inherently fragile and usually short-lived.
4. Self-Love: Contrary to popular belief, Fromm argues that self-love is not selfishness.
He posits that one cannot truly love others without first loving oneself; drawing from
Meister Eckhart's idea that self-love enhances the capacity to love others.
5. Love of God: This form of love emerges from the need to overcome the feeling of
separateness and achieve unity with a higher power. Fromm notes that one's love for
God often reflects the maturity of their faith and their relationship with their own
parents.
6. False Love: Fromm also identifies forms of false love, which might involve idealization or an intense but superficial attachment. These relationships are marked by sudden beginnings and are often fragile and empty.
7. Practicing Love: Fromm transitions from theory to practice, emphasizing that love is a personal experience requiring active engagement. He draws parallels between learning to love and mastering an art such as music or carpentry, necessitating l dedication, concentration, and discipline. According to Fromm, mastering the art of love demands effort and perseverance, much like any other professional skill.
Conclusion Erich Fromm's examination of love provides a comprehensive framework for
understanding the complexity of human emotions and relationships. By viewing love as an
art, he underscores the importance of active effort and personal growth in cultivating genuine
affection and connection with others.
References
Fromm, E. (1985). The Art of Loving. (Trans. I. Gunduz). Istanbul: Say Publications.
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