Self Compassion
You sang on stage in front of everyone and this was your first live performance. Later, when you asked the audience about your performance, they told you it was average. What would you feel? Worthless and unsuccessful? To be valuable, must we be made to feel valuable by others? If so, this means that we interpret our value through the eyes of others, and every time we want to feel valuable, we compare ourselves with others and make the mistake of feeling superior to them.
Self-compassion is closely related to being good at oneself, understanding oneself, and being able to tolerate one's negative traits. According to research, to show self-compassion, a person must be both resilient and emotionally stable. Rather than trying to be perfect, accepting that we can make mistakes without criticizing ourselves destructively is very important for self-compassion. Another important factor for self-compassion is related to our ability to ignore external factors. While everyday life is challenging enough, focusing solely on our own mistakes leads to irrational beliefs. Many times we have encountered situations where we are not in control. However, when we cannot get out of our inner world and stick to schema thoughts, we may not realize the impact of external factors on us.
According to research, it has been observed that people with high self-compassion can cope better with depression and anxiety. Although self-compassion depends on people's character, people can increase their self-compassion with many cognitive exercises and techniques. Mindfulness techniques can increase awareness of self-compassion. When we are left with an irrational belief and begin to blame ourselves instead of focusing on the solution, it is important to recognize the moment and find balance. When irrational thoughts come to our mind, it is possible to avoid this situation by reflecting on our experiences and awareness of that moment instead of exaggerating these thoughts and thinking obsessively.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self‐compassion, self‐esteem, and well‐being. Social and personality psychology compass, 5(1), 1-12.
Allen, A. B., & Leary, M. R. (2010). Self‐Compassion, stress, and coping. Social and personality psychology compass, 4(2), 107-118.
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