TYPES OF LOVE
When you are in relationship or in love with someone, how do you describe it? How do you know you are in love? The idea about love mostly about romance, but love can be between us and our friends and family members as well. As a matter of fact, there are eight different love types which came from Greek society, and it is still relevant today. According to ancient Greeks, the types of love are Eros, Philia, Ludus, Agape, Pragma, Philautia, Storge and Mania. Thanks to these, we can understand and explain what kind of love we experience and feel.
The first one is Eros which is also called as romantic love or sexual passion. The name basically came from the Greek god of love and desire, and it represents romantic and passionate love. Emily (2020) indicates that people cannot control themselves and their boundaries. They get attached both physically and emotionally so they cannot get enough when they are with their partner or lover. Eros was, however, regarded by the ancient Greeks as a dangerous form of love because of the way it caused people to lose control for these reasons. In addition to these, it is mentioned that eros love does not necessarily meant to be long-lasting. “This very physical of love might last between six months to two years that depends on the relationship,” explains Cate. How to show eros (FTD, 2020):
- Admiring someone’s physical body.
- Physical touch, such as hugging and kissing.
- Romantic affection.
The second type of love is Philia that is called as deep friendship or affectionate love. It came from Greek philosopher Plato (thus the idea of platonic friendships). This love can be between friends just as crucial as romantic love. “Philia means love between equals, love related with the mind, and love between people who have shared hard times,” Cate said. Anyone who has experienced philia will know that friendship love can still be powerful. Plato's concept of platonic love stems from his belief that physical attraction is not a necessary component of love. (Gulla, 2020) Basically, Philia is love without romantic attraction and it can be between friends or family members. According to FTD Blog (2020), how we can understand Philia type of love:
- Engage in deep conversation with a friend.
- Be supportive in hard times.
The other type of love is Ludus, and it is also called as playful love. FTD Blog (2020) says that it includes emotions, flirting and beginning stages of intimate love. Ludus, also known as the honeymoon stage of a relationship, is a childish and flirtatious form of love that is frequently experienced in the early going. This kind of love is characterized by jokes, playful intentions, and laughter between the partners. Even though it's typical of young couples, older couples who pursue this love experience happier marriages. It can be understood with these below:
- Flirt and have fun-loving conversations
- Spend time laughing and having fun together
- Show off your innocent side together
- Bonus: Give a rose bouquet
Agape love is selfless love or universal love which means an empathetic attitude of love for everyone and anyone. This type of love is the peak level of love to offer since it is given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. Offering Agape is a choice to spread love in all situations, even those that could be harmful. Agape is a feeling; it is not a physical action. However, acts of self-love have the power to cause Agape because self-monitoring produces results. Agape can be shown with these:
- Dedicate your life to enhancing the lives of others.
There are numerous charities that serve for all humanity without any expectation like money because they only worry about our world and future. Other than that, you have to think about the times you do not even look and pass people who buy something to earn some money, does make you feel less human? Even though, you cannot work for charity, you can still do some favours to people who you do not know. Agape is pure and conscious love which makes us more human and feel optimistic about our world since we do it unconditionally.
Pragma is enduring or longstanding love which mature love that develops over time. It can be shown with putting effort into long-term and reciprocate relationships. Pragma is an exceptional form of bonded love that develops over many years. When a couple decides to put equal effort into their relationship, their love is eternal. It takes dedication and commitment to achieve "Pragma." You are "standing in love" with the person you want by your side forever, not "falling in love," with them. (FTD, 2020) Pragma is shown with:
- Continue to strengthen the bond of long-term relationships.
- Seek and show effort with your partner.
- Choose to work with your partner forever.
The other love type is Philautia which is self-love. This is all about self-love and self-compassion. It is needed for our own confidence and self-esteem, and it also affects how we interact with the world. More love of self-equals more love to offer to others. After all, you can't pour from an empty cup. (Regan, 2022) According to FTD, philautia can be shown with these:
- Establish an environment that nurtures your well-being.
- Take care of yourself like a parent would care for a child.
- Spend time around people who support you.
- Bonus: Use flowers to boost your mood.
Storge is familiar love which flows between parents and children or childhood friends. It can be shown with gratitude towards the people close to you. Storge is a naturally occurring love that is rooted in best friends, as well as parents and children. It's an endless love founded on emotional connection and acceptance. In the relationship between parents and children, this love comes naturally and right away. (FTD, 2020) Storge is understood with:
- Sacrifice your time, self, or personal pleasures.
- Quickly forgive harmful actions.
- Share memorable and impactful moments.
Mania is the last type of love and it is also known as obsessive love. Mania type is obsessiveness or madness over a love partner. Codependency, which results in unwanted possessiveness or jealousy, is the result. The majority of cases of obsessive love are found in couples who have unequal amounts of love for one another. Mania is primarily brought on by an imbalance between Eros and Ludus. Obsessive love can be harmful, but it can also be avoided by having healthy levels of playful and romantic love. (FTD, 2020) Avoid from mania can be possible with these:
- Recognize obsessive or possessive behavior before acting upon it.
- Focus on yourself more versus another person.
- Put trust into your relationships.
In conclusion, there are different types of love that we can feel. It can be for ourselves, friends and families, lovers with different approaches, other people even we do not know and so more. These terms make easier to understand and describe our feelings in a deep way. Hope that while reading this, you can find some things in yourself. After all, love will save the world…
Gulla, E. (2020, December 14). 8 different types of love explained. Cosmopolitan. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a34896557/types-of-love/
mindbodygreen. (2022, December 28). From Eros To Philia, Here Are 8 Different Types Of Love. Mindbodygreen. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/types-of-love
Team, F. (1970, January 20). The 8 different types of love + The perfect combo for you | FTD. FTD Blog. https://www.ftd.com/blog/types-of-love
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